A Certain (Un)Fortunate Incident
by Vindex101
Summary: Between all the hardships, all the battles waged between magic and science, how does Kamijou Touma fare on a day-to-day basis? A short story about a certain incident that takes place after the events of NT11. Expect tons of misfortune, and not just for our hero. You've been warned. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

Academy City.

Known as the pioneer city of everything related to science, it is said that the technology inside the city is 10, even 20 years ahead of anyplace else on Earth. A city that houses nearly 2 million people, of which 80% are students enrolled under their ability development curriculum. However, despite all that technological advancement, despite all those brilliant minds throughout the city, science has yet to help a certain boy with regards to his everyday fortune.

Or rather, misfortune.

"Fukou da..."

This boy, Kamijou Touma, can currently be seen walking home with an overflowing grocery bag in his left hand and a gloomy expression on his face. Bandages bound the whole of his right hand from palm to elbow, and another bandage was wrapped around his head.

Having just been released from the hospital yesterday, one might mistakenly blame the downcast aura the youth was emanating on his injuries. To some extent, this was true; the injuries he got in Denmark has yet to fully heal. He could still feel a constant, dull ache all around his body, but, given what he had gone through during the whole Othinus fiasco, the common man might actually comment that having just aches after all that was his being lucky. The youth himself would say otherwise.

Having stayed at the hospital for a long period of time, the stock of food at his dorm room had finally been depleted, leading to the black hole that was his roommate to constantly pester him to come back home. Immediately after leaving the hospital, Kamijou went shopping for his monthly supplies of groceries, with Index and the newly christened Othi-chibi in tow.

However, despite the overabundance of supplies that he had bought, it all had literally disappeared overnight when he made the mistake of sleeping too early, forgetting to lock the cupboards. He had awoken to the sight of a sister with an unsightly bulging stomach laying prostrate on the kitchen floor, while the former magic god can only express her condolences on the poor Kamijou's situation.

Fast forward 10 or so hours, it was now nearing night on a Saturday, as the unfortunate youth who had just exhausted the last of his rainy day funds continued to trudge along, carrying the bags using his off-hand.

The reason he was using his left hand was that he didn't want to put too much burden on his main hand, having been reprimanded for pulling it out of its cast when he went and saved the Tokiwadai ojou-sama earlier that week. He at least wanted to let his hand rest, it at least deserves that after what it had been through.

_December is just beginning, but my bank account is already empty! What kind of sick, omnipotent deity is responsible for this situation?! Wait, no, it's too dangerous to be thinking such things. Who knows how much power that chibi magic god still has left. I wouldn't be surprised if she can somehow read my mind and- Wait! Does that mean she could be reading my mind right now?! She might be whipping up Index's appetite while I'm taking so long to go home! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! Please forgive this Kamijou Touma who is a mere lowly human, almighty Othinus-samaaaaaa!_

Passers-by were looking weirdly at the boy that suddenly knelt and began bowing his head on the pavement. They could not possibly realize that the boy was all too serious in bowing to preserve his life, or rather, his wallet's well-being.

After a few minutes (and a severe scolding from a passing Anti-skill officer), Kamijou continued to trudge on his way back to his dorm. The reason the trip was taking so long was that he had chosen to shop at a faraway store he had chanced upon that was having a 50% clearance sale on all items. Given the state of his finances, he can only hope that the items he had bought would not spoil easily, though knowing who his roommate was, it would have made no difference to her if it was spoilt or not.

He was passing through an all too familiar park when he saw a blue light in the direction of the park benches, followed by a small explosion.

Sweat sprouted beneath the bandage on his head._ Why does that light seem so familiar? Could my misfortune really be this bad?!_ With his curiosity winning out on him, he snuck closer to the park benches and peeked out from behind a lamp post

There, standing right next to a smoldering pile of what he could only guess was once a park bench, was the girl he had dreaded he would find. The #3 level 5 Misaka Mikoto, a.k.a the Railgun, complete in her winter uniform.

Because any unnecessary noise would only attract the attention (and more likely, fury) of said girl, he can only cry out voicelessly to the sky, _Fukou daaa!_

Since after Denmark, he had yet to meet or talk to Mikoto. He had thought that she would come over to his exclusive hospital room just like she did after he saved her Sisters, but alas, she never showed. It wasn't that he was dreading meeting her. It was just that, from the looks of the situation, he doubted that it was a good time to stumble upon her. He can't help but imagine himself to the likeness of the smoking rubble in front of the girl.

_What's got her into such a mood? Normally, if she was angry and wanted to take it out on something, wouldn't she rather harass that broken vending machine?_

It never crossed Kamijou's mind that his assessment of Mikoto's mood and habit would surprise many people. Only a handful of people can confirm that what he had thought of was correct, and all of them would even be surprised that he knew her that well (with one particular twin-tailed girl being especially pissed-off).

He decided that it would be better for everyone involved if he would just leave quietly without disturbing the girl. He had started to slowly back away from the lamp post when he heard Mikoto speak,

"Damn youuu ssstupid *hic* vending machine. Jussst... Give me my *hic* drink alreeady..."

_Huh? _Was he just imagining it, or was Mikoto drunk?

On a closer look, one would indeed confirm that Mikoto had been drinking. Nevermind that she thought the park bench was her usual vending machine, from her gait and face alone you could clearly see the inebriated version of the #3 level 5. Her flushed cheeks were evident despite the dimming light, her eyelids drooping, her pupils seemed dull and unfocused. She was swaying in position, while pointing an accusing finger at the rubble. She looked like she would tip over if a sudden breeze blew.

_Why would she be drinking? She's clearly underage; any self respecting bartender can see that, they couldn't possibly have served her anything alcoholic. Wait, don't tell me it was one of those things that happen when girls get together?! Could Biri-biri actually be the kind of girl that seems nice on the outside, but was actually a wild-party animal?!_

Whatever the reason, it was obvious that he needed to interfere. If he didn't, who knows what might happen to an unfortunate passerby that had the misfortune to come across a drunk Railgun...

_Wait, isn't the unfortunate bystander in this case me? _With this realization, he can only sigh in silent acceptance. _Fukou da._

He steeled his resolution, as if he was about to head out to a crossfire, and walked out from behind the shelter of the lamp post. Kamijou approached the girl cautiously, who appeared to be preparing herself to deliver a stunning side kick to the "vending machine".

She was hopping in place, left foot forward, right foot back. After three or so hops, she spun graciously in place, her sweat-matted hazel hair twirling along with his body, and extended her leg, meriting Kamijou a glimpse of her ever faithful shorts. Her roundhouse kick was accompanied with a battle cry- "CHASSSSSERR- woooawooah!" -and she accordingly fell on her butt.

Mikoto stayed sitting on the floor, rubbing her sore behind while looking around her, as if looking for something. _Is she actually looking for a beverage that she thought she got? _Kamijou shook his head and hurried over to help the girl up.

He set down his grocery bag to the side and extended his left hand to the fallen girl. "Oi Biri-biri, are you okay?"

Mikoto gazed up at the sound of his voice. She looked at the outstretched hand, confused at first, but reluctantly took it. Kamijou hoisted her up from the ground- carefully, he reminded himself. The atmosphere was too dense, too dangerous. If there was to be an accidental girl-toppling-over-boy-as-he-tried-to-help-her-up incident, he doubt that Mikoto can keep herself from murdering him on the spot.

"Really Biri-biri, I thought you would know better than to be drinking at your age."

"Huh?" Mikoto squinted her eyes at him while leaning in closely. "Do I know youuu?"

Kamijou retreated a step back. Her breath reeked of alcohol, sending his mind slightly reeling just from the smell. _Wow, she must really be out of it to not shoot at me on sight, least of all recognize me. Just how much did Biri-biri drink? Was I right in thinking that she really was the party girl type?!_

Mikoto's gaze slightly went upward. He watched as recognition slowly dawned on Mikoto's face, accompanied with an accusatory finger, complete with sparks and all.

"...aaaaaaAAAAAAH! It'sss you! You ssspiky-haired idiot!"

"So you recognized me by my hair and not by my face?!"

"I'm sssure you're that idiot, I'd recognize that ssspiky hair of yoursss a mile away... Ssso? What the hell are you doing here, huuhh?!"

"What, it's not my fault you caused such a ruckus that even I, the ignorant Kamijou Touma can't ignore. I just happened to pass by and saw what looked like a thunderstorm."

"You expect me to believe... that an idiot like you, passssing through here and ssseeing me... wasss jusst a coinndii.. conciident... coiidnney.. by CHANCE?! You're totally looking for a fight!"

"It IS just a coincidence, so you don't need to yell at me all slurringly like that! AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME IDIOT?!"

He rubbed his brows, trying to dispel the impending headache he could feel was coming. _At least she hadn't electrocuted me yet. _He looked up, only to be confronted by the sight of Mikoto with her dukes up. Her two fists were raised like a boxer's, her face wearing a determined scowl, although the flushed cheeks ruined the look.

"... Oi. What are you doing?"

"What, you wanted a fight right? That'ss why you came here looking for me right?" She punched her left palm with her right fist. "Well then come on! I already beat you once, ha! I can do it again."

Kamijou's eyebrows began twitching from irritation. It seemed that drunk mode Mikoto was just as battle-thirsty as the sober one. And now it looked like she wanted to settle this mano-a-mano. He contemplated that if only she wasn't drunk, he might have actually entertained the thought of playing with her. But...

"You're clearly drunk, there's no way I'm fighting you while you're like that."

"Huh?" Mikoto dropped her fists (thankfully, Kamijou thought) and pointed at herself. "Drunk? Who, me?"

"Of course you. I don't see anyone else here trying to buy a can of beverage from a park bench, which, by the way, you totally fried."

Kamijou pointed at the still smoking heap to the side that was once the park bench. Mikoto looked over to what he was pointing at, an astounded look on her face.

The sight of a charred park bench must have worked wonders for her stomach, as she suddenly paled even more. "Ugggh, i feel ssick. I think I'm gonna..."

She didn't even finish the sentence before she rushed to lean in a nearby trash can and threw up. The sound of her puking made Kamijou's face pale too; he looked like he would have been glad to accompany the girl beside the trash can. He forced it back down with a disgusted look on his face, and upon noticing that the ungodly sounds had stopped, approached the poor girl.

Mikoto was still leaning in the trash can, reduced to merely dry-heaving. Not knowing what else to do, Kamijou slowly rubbed her back- again, being careful everytime he ran over the danger spot near the top of her back. When he felt Mikoto slacken, he put one of her arms over his shoulder and guided her to the nearest still whole bench.

"Come on Biri-biri, you can lay down on that bench over there to rest a little."

"Uuurggh... I told you.. My name iss.."

He laid down Mikoto on the bench, who then covered her eyes with her right arm. Finally, after bringing the grocery bag closer to where she was resting, Kamijou slumped down on the floor, with his back resting on the side of the bench nearest to Mikoto's head.

With Mikoto temporarily debilitated in the meantime, he took the liberty to take a breather and gather his thoughts.

Fact number one: Mikoto was clearly drunk. What was not clear was why she didn't seem to be aware of it. _Huh, maybe this is her first time getting drunk._

Fact number two: Mikoto wouldn't be going anywhere at the moment, not without help at least. Kamijou glanced at a nearby post-mounted clock. It was already nearing the time for curfew. He would need to help the girl back to her dorm if she wanted to make it back before the curfew, however...

Fact number three: Mikoto was DRUNK. AND UNDERAGE. He can only guess what kind of punishment she would bring upon herself if she showed up as such at her dorm. And from what little info Mikoto had offhandedly told him about their dorm manager, it was unlikely that Mikoto would get through the punishment in one piece.

With the facts and problems established, it was now time to think of a proper solution. Of course just leaving her there alone was out of the question; if Kamijou Touma wasn't one thing, it was a ditcher. He would never abandon a friend, especially in a time of need.

Which leads to the only solution he could think of: find someplace for her to stay the night. But there in itself lies another problem: where in the hell could he hide a drunk level 5 for the night?

He ruled out renting a hotel; nevermind that it would be suspicious to show up with a clearly drunk, unconscious girl, he didn't even have enough money to book a room for even a single night. He doubted that he could get Mikoto lucid enough to let her handle the transaction.

Maybe take her over to one of her friends? Kamijou shook his head, immediately rejecting the thought. He didn't know how to contact any of her friends, and he doubted again that he could get Mikoto to cooperate.

Going to the authorities was out of the question too. Mikoto was held with high regard throughout Academy City as an outstanding student and a role-model; she was the poster girl for the city after all. This much at least he knew. Going to Anti-skill or judgement for help would only tarnish Mikoto's reputation; not only as the #3 level 5, but also as a pure, innocent girl...

_Innocent? Where the heck did that come from? This girl faced her Sisters' killer, trekked through a world war, and even helped deal with the situation in Hawaii. If there ever was a girl that would hate to be called innocent to the face, I'm guessing it would be her._

Thus after eliminating all the invalid options, Kamijou was left with only one solution: he would have to hide her away at his dorm.

He hung his head in silent defeat. It couldn't be helped. No matter how hard he thought about it, there was no other way to deal with the situation. _Barely out of the hospital, and something like this already happens to me... *siiiigh*, fukou da..._

Now that he had actually accepted his fate, it was time to move from planning to executing. Kamijou flipped open his phone and called Index's number, hoping that the girl with photographic memory hadn't forgotten to charge her phone.

* * *

Index was under the kotatsu, happily watching a rerun of Magical Girl Kanamin on the television when the phone beside her rang. After only two rings, she managed to unlock the phone and answer it.

"Uhm, hello? Hey, Touma Touma, is this you?"

"Yeah Index, it's me. I'm surprised you've learned to answer your cellphone that fast."

"That's because Othinus told me that you might call since it's already dark outside. Hey hey, Touma, when is the food getting here? Othinus told me you would be bringing lots of food today. Lots and lots! Hurry up and get here! I'm hungry!"

The phone went silent for a good 10 seconds. Index started to wonder if Touma had hung up on her, or maybe he was interrupted on the other side.

"Touma? Hey Touma, are you still there?"

"... Index-san? Can you please put Othinus on the phone?"

Index looked over to her side where the chibi magic god sat beside her, being forced to watch the magical girl show at Index's insistence.

"Uhm, okay..." Index handed over the phone to Othinus, who despite her new diminutive state was still quite capable of handling the phone by herself. She leaned the speaker part of the phone to her head (which was smaller than the phone itself).

"What do you want with me, human?"

A scuttling sound was heard from the speaker. Othinus wondered what that sound was, when she heard a deep inhalation of breath. Then...

"FORGIVE ME OTHINUS-SAMA FOR MY IMPUDENT THOUGHTS EARLIER! I'M SORRY FOR MY INSOLENCE TO BE THINKING OF SUCH THINGS!"

"..."

"..."

Othinus and Index, who couldn't help but hear the outburst, could only stare at the phone, at a loss for words.

"LOOK! I AM CURRENTLY KNEELING DOWN ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF MY CELLPHONE! YOU CAN SEE ME, RIGHT? PLEASE CLEAR THIS KAMIJOU'S OFFENSE FROM YOUR MEMORY AND FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE!"

A dull thud accompanied the end of the tirade from the apparently kneeling youth. Needless to say, the situation was beyond weird, or at least the magic god thought so.

"... What are you talking about human? Have you finally snapped from all that's happened to you in all those different worlds I sent you to?"

"Huh? Wait, didn't you intentionally make Index hungry because you read my thoughts earlier on how my misfortune might be because of some twisted, sick, omnipotent deity?"

"... I have no idea what you're talking about. All my powers from being a magic god are gone, so whatever you're thinking I could have done, I will deny it. And what was that you have been thinking about me?"

"Th-then! Why the heck would you rile Index's hunger factor up and tell her something that would only encourage her to eat everything that I might bring home?!"

Othinus shrugged, "I was bored."

"Whaa- YOU WERE BORED?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW DANGEROUS THAT MONSTER THAT YOU'RE PLAYING WITH IS?! DO YOU?! WHY WOULD YOU WISH UPON ME SUCH A THING?!"

Again, Othinus shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?"

"AAAAAAAARRRGGGHH! YOU! YOU FORMER MAGIC GOD THAT HAS NOW BEEN DEMOTED TO BEING MERELY ANOTHER FREELOADER! HAVE YOU REALLY REPENTED FROM YOUR CRIMES AGAINST THIS WORLD?! HAVE YOU REALLY TURNED OVER A NEW LEAF?! HAVE YOU?! THEN WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THAT ATTITUDE OF YOURS?! I SHOULD CALL NECESSARIUS AND REPORT-"

"YOU'RE TOO LOUD, YOU IDIOOOOTT!"

"Wa-wait Misaka-san! Not the groceries! Please spare the gro- GGWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" The sound of a lightning storm was heard on Othinus's end of the call. Othinus could imagine what kind of situation that boy had wound up in, and could only shake her head.

After the cries of anguish had died down, Kamijou's voice was heard again from the phone.

"Can I speak to Index again please?"

The sound of utter defeat from his voice was enough to incite the deepest of pities from anyone who would have heard it. Unluckily for him, the magic god has long since become unfazed to the sound of him in despair.

Othinus motioned for Index to take the phone from her, which she did.

"Uhh, Touma? What was that loud noise earlier? It sounded like when I try to plug the television in, only much louder."

"... Nevermind that for now Index. Listen, I need you to go to Komoe-sensei's and spend the night there. Can you do that?"

"Eh?! But why? Don't tell me you've gotten yourself into something dangerous again. That's it isn't it-"

"Nonononono! You got it all wrong Index-san! I, uhmm, well it's true that something has come up. BUT! But it really is nothing dangerous! It's just... Something came up that I can't ignore, and I'm the only one here that can help. So please Index! Will you believe me and spend the night over at Komoe-sensei's?"

The worried look on Index's face vanished alongside her sigh. She could somehow sense that Touma was telling the truth this time and not simply keeping her away from danger. Perhaps it was something that concerned one of his friends...

"Well, okay, I'll believe you Touma. But what's the problem? Maybe I can stay here and help with it somehow. As a sister, I am obliged to-"

"I forgot to mention that I ran into Komoe-sensei earlier at the store. It seemed like she was the one who bought out all the meat. She said she was having Himegami over and introducing her to the latest girl she took in, so she was having a barbecue. She asked if you were free to-"

"Tou-TOUMA! You should say those things earlier! I-it's been a while since I've talked to Aisa, this is the perfect chance to catch up with her. P-plus, Aisa might feel too shy around someone new by herself, I have to help her! I'm taking Sphinx with me, I'll be going then!"

"Wa-wait Index! Lock the door going o-"

Index quickly closed the cellphone and pocketed it. She picked up Sphinx, who was lounging on the kotatsu while facing the television.

"Come on Sphinx! We're going to see Aisa again! Plus, there would be meat!"

Sphinx however motioned towards the TV that he was being pulled away from, like he was saying, _But I'm still watching the show! I want to know if Kanamin has was it takes to overcome the latest troubles in her heart!_

Ignoring Sphinx's troubled mews, Index hurried out the door and locked it behind her. She rode the elevator down all the while humming "Barbecue ! Barbecue ! " and swinging Sphinx around with a smile plastered on her face.

* * *

Left in the dorm room was Othinus, who just continued to stare at the locked door. She was sure Index hadn't meant to leave her behind. Or rather, she simply forgot that Othinus was there to begin with.

_They sure are pretty complacent with leaving a dorm room under an ex-Magic God's care._

With a sigh, she turned back to the TV and resumed watching Kanamin.

* * *

Kamijou sighed as he closed his phone and muttered a silent apology to Komoe-sensei. While he did bump into Komoe earlier, and she did tell him that Himegami was indeed coming over, under no circumstance did she tell him that there would be a barbecue or anything of the sort at her place, let alone to invite Index over. He muttered a silent prayer that Komoe-sensei would just play along and somehow sense the urgency of taking Index in for the night.

_Now then..._

A ringing interrupted his thoughts right as he was about to get up. He looked over to his phone still in his hand; it was silent.

"Huh? Then-"

Before he could say anything further, Mikoto had already flipped open HER phone and put it against her ear, all the while still lying down on the bench with her one arm over her eyes.

"Helloooo... Oh, it'ss you Kuroko..." Kamijou couldn't help but gulp at the mention of the ominous name.

"... Iss it already that late?... No, no, I'm not drunk. I jusst feel a little sssick..."

Kamijou quickly snatched the phone from the drunk's hands and spoke into it.

"And there you have it Shirai-san, Misaka can't really come back to the dorm like this so I'll do something about it."

"Whaaa... Whaa..."

"-Don't worry I'll make sure she's safe Iwon'tdoanythingbadIpromiseokayBYE!"

"What?! YOOUUUUUUUU-!"

He shut the phone mid-scream and proceeded to remove the battery from its back and pockets it while replacing the cover of the cellphone.

_This is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad! That crazy girl will no doubt use her Judgement privileges to track down the call__! I've removed the battery for now, so maybe they can't constantly keep track of us anymore, but they may still be able to trace that call to here. A__nd __if__ she finds us here..._

He didn't finish the thought as a part at the back of his skull suddenly started to ache in fear. He would have to move fast before his life was put into even more danger.

The idea of leaving Mikoto behind and running for it didn't even appear in Kamijou's head. Nevermind that it would be far more convenient for him to hightail it out of there and let Shirai find Mikoto for herself; even the mere speck or beginnings of such a line of thinking did not, nor would it ever it seemed, occur to him. Such was the highschooler that was Kamijou Touma.

He tugged Mikoto into a sitting position and grabbed her arms.

"Whaa... What are you doing?"

She was quickly shushed as Kamijou knelt down with his back towards her. He crossed her arms around his neck and suddenly- "Whowhoaa!" - hoisted her up while grabbing at a somehow dangerous spot at her thighs.

"W-w-w-what are you doing?!"

It seemed that even though she was inebriated, Mikoto still possessed some semblance of awareness; realizing that she was cajoled into piggybacking onto that idiot's back, her face accordingly turned a shade or two redder than it already was. She closed her eyes and started to flail around.

"P-p-put me down, you idiot! I-I-I can walk on my-"

"This is no time for that!"

Mikoto's protests were drowned out by Kamijou's sudden shout. It was so sudden, so urgent, that you couldn't help but be quiet at the interjection. Without her realizing it, her head had already rested upon his shoulder in silence

"We're almost out of time, so this is the best way I can think of! You can hit me all you want later for all I care, but let that be later instead of right now! I know that this is embarrassing for you, but bear with it for a while please!"

There was a tone to his voice that she found familiar. It sounded like all those times that he had been out to fight for something, when he denies all the wrongs thrown at him with his words and his clenched fists. She slowly opened her eyes, and there was Kamijou, his head twisted to face her, staring at her intently.

There was a light in his eyes, a fierce light that showed how serious he was.

It was the same kind of light that she saw in his eyes back then-

Back then in Denmark when he had been escorting a magic god through the snow.

Back then on top of the floating city when he had declined her efforts to rescue him.

Back then when she had bumped into him in the underground District 22, all wrapped up in bandages and barely able to walk.

Back then near the end of the Daihaseisai when he had rushed towards an unrecognizable and rampaging monster that was her.

Back then when he had stood up all bloody and broken, facing an unbeatable monster in the railyard who was about to destroy the city.

It was those same eyes that shushed her now, while at the same time offered her a comforting assurance. It was commanding, yet warm at the same time. What else was there to say in answer to that gaze? She could feel her head become a little clearer from that stare. Now, all she could do was was bury her face in his back in acceptance.

"... I'll make sure you pay for this later."

"Heh, is that so? Then let's go!"

With a shout, Kamijou picked up the grocery bags with his left hand and burst forward. He wove through the park, and eventually out the gate.

Unbeknownst to Mikoto, it was neither honor nor courage that drove those words that Kamijou spoke to her. No, it was something more primal, more simple.

Fear.

The adrenaline rush that started from Shirai's call had began to wear out, and so he slowed to a walk. It suddenly came to him just how embarrassing this situation was for them. A teenage boy running through the streets with a teenage girl on his back; he wondered what would Aogami do to him if he ever found out about this predicament.

On top of that, he suddenly became hyper aware of his passenger; Mikoto's hair being swept by the wind tickled the back of his neck, the sweet fragrance that wafted from the sleeves of her arms that were circled around his neck, the feel of her firm thighs that he supported with his arms, not to mention a soft sensation pressed against him from behind.

_What is it with this sudden development?! Why is it that even in a middle of a crisis, of all times, is when I suddenly suffe__r __an incredible assault of the senses?! This is too much for me to handle all at the same time!_

_... Huh, I didn't realize it at first, but Misaka sure is light. I know that it's just normal for a girl to be so, but I still can't help but compare her to that time in Denmark when I did this with Othinus. Seems that she's even lighter than how Othinus was before. Also, it somehow feels less soft at my back..._

His musings were cut short by a sudden spark that went off near his head, like the silent girl he was carrying could somehow sense where his train of thoughts were leading to. He gulped and forced himself to stop thinking too much of the situation.

Instead, he focused on the road ahead and the way he was pacing himself, all the while wondering about something totally different from the previous thought: how the hell had Mikoto gotten drunk?

* * *

**If you're reading this, then you've made the painstaking effort of reading through my very first fanfic EVER, and for that, you have my sincere thanks.:D  
Actually, I meant for this story to be one huge one-shot of events taking place after NT11, but I wanted to post it before NT12 is translated, and I've only gotten as far as half, so I decided to compromise and split it into parts. I know, poor me, no skills in time management whatsoever.**

**There are at least 3 more parts coming up after this, but I have no idea when I'll be able to finish writing them, so yeah, if you liked my first story so far, you can follow it to get a notif when I finally update. Or so I'm told that that's how it works.**

**Acknowledgements! I have my senpai 61wisampa to thank for putting up with my constant bugging her about my story (non-verbatim:"senpai! what do you think of it so far? tell me!" "Stop bothering me!") and for pointing out the typos I've missed. And for all my college profs for allowing me the time to write it (not that they've actually given me permission to write it in class, but meh).**

**So, how did you like it? Did it suck? Was it any good? Did it suck so much that I had to ask twice if it sucked? Reviews are welcomed and encouraged, so that I may actually have the chance to feel what it's like to receive reviews for a story of Just please don't bury me under a pile of hate.**

**And with that, I bid adieu, until I write again.**

**~Vindex101**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just a quick note. The tildes (~) here are stars, since the document manager don't seem to support alt characters. You know what that means...**

**DISCLAIMER: I forgot to include this in the last chapter. To Aru is not owned by me, even in my wildest dreams. If it was, it would definitely suck.**

* * *

Earlier on that same day, some time in the afternoon...

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid Mr. Kamijou's room is already vacant. It appears that he checked out yesterday afternoon."

Mikoto's shoulders visibly drooped at the desk nurse's response to her inquiry. The nurse noticed this, and, thinking some sort of forlorn misunderstanding, her heart reached out for the teenage girl.

"Um, maybe you would want to know his residence address? I'm sure he wouldn't mind-"

"No, no, it's okay. I already know where he lives, I... It's just, I didn't think he'd check out just yet, that's all."

Mikoto dismissed the nurse's concerns with a chuckle. To the nurse, it was a chuckle that tried to hide a lot of emotion within. It pained her to even just think of that.

As Mikoto walked out of the lobby with her head hanging low, the nurse couldn't help but dab the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief. _Hang in there Miss Railgun!_ She wholeheartedly sent out a silent encouragement to the girl's retreating back.

* * *

Mikoto continued to walk away from the hospital. Once out of the view of the lobby, her meager steps turned to stomps. Sparks discharged around her head as her face, previously overshadowed by her hair, revealed an extremely pissed off look. She proceeded to a nearby tree to the side and started to kick it with all her might.

"THAT! NO! GOOD! IDIOT!"

Each word was punctuated with a kick to the tree. The poor animals living in said tree quickly evacuated their dwellings, maybe because of the rather ominous feeling in the air. Mikoto ignored the scampering critters and continued to brutalize her target.

Of course, such show of violence didn't go without good reason for Mikoto. After all, she had just spent the better of her whole week mustering up the courage to visit that idiot at the hospital. The way that they last saw each other in Denmark left much to account for, their separation too sudden. Mikoto did not yet have a clear picture of the events that transpired that led to him running off with that Othinus. Despite being the one to face the numerous FIVE-OVERs then in order to cover his retreat, she was still yet to receive a proper explanation as to what had really happened and what his reasons back then were. So, with that in mind, on that sunny Saturday, Mikoto had gone straight to the hospital right after her morning classes had ended.

Imagine her dismay when she had found out that the idiot she was supposed to visit had already left. All the time she had spent readying herself for their confrontation, wasted. Still, being the properly raised girl that she was, she couldn't let it show just how frustrated she had felt in front of so many people back then at the hospital lobby. And so, she had retreated first to somewhere secluded in order to do what had to be done: vent her anger.

"YOU! COULDN'T! HAVE! WAITED! FOR! JUST! ANOTHER! DAY?!"

And with those last few kicks, Mikoto stood panting in front if the tree, which now donned a proper shoe print on its trunk. It was a good thing that Tokiwadai uniforms included shoes; no one would be able to tie her name to public vandalism.

Now, with her anger properly vented for the time being, she stormed off away from the poor tree. Out the park, down the sidewalk she stomped, all the while thinking of various violent ways to punish that idiot.

_Maybe I should go over to his place, just to give that idiot a good beating and a piece of my mind!_

_..._

_...B-b-but isn't that a little too upfront? I-I mean, a girl going to a boy's dorm all by herself, surely there's something wrong with this picture! M-maybe I can just ambush him by waiting at a convenient store that he frequents. Yeah, that's right! I could just do that! Plus, I can catch him off guard that way and finally get some answers!_

_..._

_..._

_How the hell am I supposed to know which stores he shops at?!_

People were staring and were careful to steer clear from the strange girl who was rubbing her hair in frustration and unconsciously emitting sparks all around her in her anger.

As luck would have it, a stray spark hit a nearby drum-shaped cleaning robot. The sudden flux in current was interpreted as an external attack by the robot's security system, and thus, the proper protocol was initiated.

"WARNING! WARNING! UNAUTHORIZED VIOLENCE DETECTED! CEASE ALL ACTIONS, JUDGEMENT AND ANTI-SKILL HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED AND WILL BE HERE SHORTLY! WARNING!"

The sudden blaring of a siren and the loud warning were enough to cause a small panic. People started to scatter away from the now revving robot.

Mikoto, in particular, was quick to notice the incident as her fault. A scene briefly flashed in her head: her dorm mistress was bailing her out of an Anti-skill jail cell, only to twist her neck once back at the dorms. The fear that the scene wrought on her drove her to take immediate action.

She shot the robot with a lightning spear; just enough power to fry its circuits, and possibly disable it before it could alert the authorities. The blaring siren stopped, and the now charred robot fell over to its side.

Not risking it, Mikoto bolted from the scene of the crime while using her bag to try and cover her face. "Damn it! That idiot's luck must be rubbing off on me! Damn iiiiiiiiiiitttttttt!"

* * *

In a certain restaurant which was situated just by a certain intersection, Shokuhou Misaki was just finishing up her late lunch. She rested her elbows on the counter while she dabbed the napkin around her mouth.

It had been a taxing day for her, more so than usual, so she had splurged a little on food. She had Physical Education as a subject earlier. Now normally, Shokuhou would just "ease her way out" of said class, but introspection of recent events led her to become motivated and make an effort to improve herself.

_~No matter how little improvement, if it means being less of a bother (to him), even just a little...~_, she thought at the time.

And so, for the first time since God knows how long, Shokuhou Misaki participated in P.E. class. And failed. Miserably.

Let's just say that she was lucky she wasn't classmates with Mikoto then, otherwise, it would have been impossible to erase all traces of that embarrassing memory from everyone's mind.

_How would pole jumping even contribute to one's fitness ability? It is just ridiculous! I should really remember to pick out the classes I'll participate in in the future. Hmmm, maybe track &amp; field? Or swimming?_

A look of fondness flashed across her face as she remembered a brief day in the past. She twisted her stool around to face the windows, while sipping the cup of tea she held in her gloved hands.

_Yeah, I suppose exercising my swimming ability will do. Though I might give some of my classmates an inferiority complex with my certain asset ability~. Oh, and speaking of the devil..._

Outside, the most likely to suffer such a complex appeared. Mikoto leaned on the side of a store while trying to catch her breath.

A sly grin slowly formed on Shokuhou Misaki's face, along with the beginnings of a plan in her head.

* * *

Having finally caught her breath, Mikoto proceeded to pat down the ruffles on her hair and clothes.

_Damn that robot, as if I'm not having a bad enough day as it is. Maybe I should just go home for the day and let this unlucky streak pass. B-b-but then I might miss my chance to finally get the truth out of him. What should I do? Maybe I can-_

"Oh my, Misaka-san, boy-shorts even though it's a Saturday? Although I expected this much tomboyishness ability from you, I still feel a bit disappointed. Tsk, tsk, tsk. So unladylike~!"

Mikoto turned her head around, only to find a boy holding her skirt up and peering meticulously at what lay underneath.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!"

She retreated away from the boy with a speed an Olympic sprinter would be jealous of, all the while donning a face redder than any tomato in the world.

Even if she was indeed wearing boy-shorts under her skirt, it didn't change the fact that Mikoto's heart was one of a maiden's (albeit a rather violent one). And for a maiden, such actions only warranted such reactions on her part.

For a brief moment, she suddenly sympathized with what Uiharu has been going through all these times.

"Wha-wha-wha-what the hell do you think you're doing?!" She pointed an accusing finger at the guilty party.

"Hmm? Well, I considered greeting you normally but you seemed so deep in thought, I decided to try how long I could get away with my peeking ability~."

It was then that Mikoto finally recognized it. That verbal tic. That tone. The choice of words. The stars in the boy's eyes. It could only mean…

"Shokuhou Misaki…"

"Well who else would it be, silly~?" The boy struck an uncharacteristically cutesy pose: he stuck a tongue out and accompanied it with a peace sign sideways at his eyes with the other hand on the waist.

Mikoto facepalmed, a gesture she didn't make very often. "This just isn't my day is it? Of all the people to bump into, it had to be her. Maybe I SHOULD just sleep this off…"

"Awww, don't make such a face Misaka-san. Hey, I know, have you eaten lunch yet? Why don't you join me for a bit over there?"

The boy pointed across the street to a building with a convenient store at the 1st floor and a restaurant above it. Following the boy's finger, Mikoto saw the real Shokuhou Misaki inside the restaurant, waving at her with a hand holding what seemed to be a TV remote.

"... And the reason you bothered to use another person instead of personally going out to talk to me is...?"

"Don't be silly Misaka-san. In this heat ability? My frail body might not take it and faint before I even got to you."

"... At least you could burn a little extra fat while you're at it-"

"Hmm? What was that Misaka-san?"

"Nothing, don't mind me."

Now while it was true that the relationship between the two were somehow antagonistic of each other, Mikoto's frustration at the moment was pointed to an altogether different person. And it was true that she had yet to eat lunch, having headed straight to the hospital after classes.

There was another reason why Mikoto even considered Shokuhou Misaki's invitation. For some time now, she had been offhandedly implying a connection with that idiot. This may be her chance to get some truth out of her, if she was willing to put up with Shokuhou's attitude for a time, which was asking for a lot, she thought.

Mikoto weighed her options and decided. She looked sharply at the boy who was still looking to her with those starry eyes for an answer.

"... You're buying."

"Ehh? But you're allowance is so much bigger than mine, is it not? Why then-"

"I don't care. Just for that stunt you pulled, you're buying."

The boy pouted, puffing his cheeks while he crossed his arms. After a moment had passed, he let out a sigh and nodded.

Taking it as an affirmation to her demands, Mikoto crossed the street, leaving the boy behind on the sidewalk. She took the stairs at the side of the building to access the second floor.

The inside of the restaurant was a nice change from the stuffy afternoon air outside. The air conditioning was set not too low, just enough to feel comfortable and not warrant sweating. The lights inside were on but dimmed; the restaurant relying on the brightness from the windows to serve as indoor lighting. It seemed that this restaurant was not that well-known; even though it was already afternoon, aside from the two Tokiwadai students, only a couple seated far away and the bartender were there.

By the counter were eight stools, with Shokuhou Misaki already occupying one of them. She was motioning to Mikoto to occupy the vacant stool next to her. Mikoto took the seat, all the while continuously keeping her eyes on Shokuhou.

"... I'm gonna say this now so it's clear: I won't stand for any of your shenanigans, you hear me? I'm already having a bad enough day as it is, so don't think I'll hold back if I find out you're up to something funny."

"Oh my, Misaka-san, I'm just merely extending a kind invitation to a fellow schoolmate. Honestly, I'm quite surprised myself that you didn't put up much of a fight ability when I invited you, or that you didn't refuse my offer altogether."

Looking back, Mikoto indeed found it surprising that she hadn't reacted violently or such to Shokuhou's presence. If it had been any other day, she would have stormed off then and there after being "invited" by Shokuhou.

With a grunt, she buried her face in her arms on the table. "Let's just say that you're not the most annoying thing to happen to me today, so I'll at least tolerate having lunch with you."

"I see, I see. Then, shall we order something now? Oh barkeep~!"

After giving their orders, Mikoto rested her chin on her hands and stared at the wall behind the counter.

_I can't believe I somehow ended up in this situation. If a time-traveler would have visited me earlier this morning and told me I would somehow end up having lunch with Shokuhou Misaki today, I would have kicked his butt on the spot. Talk about ridiculous._

_Then again, this is my chance to finally wring out of her just how she and that idiot are related, and why it seemed she had known him longer than I did. I got to time this just right, no need to sound too eager._

She decided to collect herself and plan it out carefully somewhere private before executing her plan. Mikoto placed her bag to the side as she stood up from her stool.

"Oh? Misaka-san, where are you going?"

"Restroom. I'll be right back."

"Don't you want me to go with you? After all, isn't it normal for teenage girls such as us to go to restrooms in pairs~?"

"Shut up you. Who even needs someone just to go with them to the restroom?"

"Oh, but won't it lead towards an increase in our bonding ability? We can share secrets with each other, talk about the latest gossip… You know, normal teenager stuff! Wait, Misaka-san, don't tell me that you haven't-"

"I said shut up! Just stay sitting there! Like I said, I'll be right back." Mikoto stomped away from the counter and towards the restrooms.

* * *

_Heeheehee, Misaka-san is just so adorable to tease~._

Shokuhou Misaki drank again from her cup while thinking this. The bartender suddenly appeared and laid the cup of black tea that Mikoto had ordered on the counter. Seeing this, Shokuhou's eyes began to sparkle.

_Now then, time to put my plan to action~._

She leaned closer to the barkeep, who was pouring milk into Mikoto's black tea.

"Excuse me sir, but my friend here has been a little bit depressed as of lately. I was wondering if you would offer her some kind of 'refreshment' to help her through the day."

"... And by 'refreshment', do you by any chance mean alcoholic drinks?"

"Why yes~. I've heard that since this restaurant only serves food and drinks that are made from 100% organic ingredients, your selection of drinks are top-notch. So, would you mind helping my friend out?"

The bartender crossed his arms while shaking his head.

"I'm sorry miss, but even though our ingredients and selection are indeed top-notch, I cannot so easily grant your request. It's painfully obvious that your friend is underage, and even though this is the renowned Academy City, I have been raised up to uphold certain values, one of those being not to let under-aged children do anything improper like drink this stuff. Also, who knows how much trouble I might get from Anti-skill if they ever found out that I willingly served alcohol to a minor."

The bartender then leaned closer to Shokuhou with squinted eyes.

"Speaking of which, that's a Tokiwadai uniform you're wearing, right? Are you sure you're really a middle schooler?"

Why the bartender made such an observation about Shokuhou Misaki was pretty obvious. In the past, she had found it funny when Mikoto was the one who asked the same question to her. She also just laughed when HE had commented on it, but for some reason, hearing it from the bartender seemed to have struck a nerve in Shokuhou Misaki.

She drew out a TV remote from her bag and pointed it towards the bartender.

"Category 056/ You will now see middle school girls as mature, high-class ladies and treat them as such for the next 24 hours." *Click*

Now, as to how and why Shokuhou Misaki had such a command already prepared…

Being a telepathy-type esper, she had deemed it important to her and her power's development in the past to do a rigorous study on how alcoholic drinks affected the mind; namely: hers, her puppets', and of people she wanted to use her ability on. While the information she had gathered were indeed valuable, if she were to, say, learn how to separate the experience from the information tied to it in the future, she would not wait a beat to banish the memories of that day from her head. Until that day, however, she would forever steer clear of a certain restaurant in District 8.

For a brief moment, the bartender's eyes became a bit hazy. The moment passed, and he straightened his posture. Shokuhou blew at the tip of her remote and put it away as she turned a mischievous smile towards the bartender.

"Now, let's try this again, shall we? You see, I would like to help my friend here through her bout of depression as of late, if you know what I mean. Any recommendations?"

"Why most certainly madam. We offer quite a selection for those seeking such, and rest assured, they have been brewed and fermented finely. Using the technology available here in Academy City, we have used a process which allows the drink to mature faster through organic means, thus, ensuring it to be still 100% organic. Because of this-"

"Yes, yes, I'm sure your process for brewing them is quite interesting. Now, about that selection of yours…"

* * *

Shokuhou Misaki had just had her cup refilled when Mikoto finally came back from the restroom. She plopped down on the stool beside Shokuhou.

"What took you so long Misaka-san? Your milk tea is about to get cold."

"Aren't girls supposed to take long when going to the restroom?" Mikoto retorts while taking a sip of her tea. Her eyes opened wide at the taste of it.

"Oh wow, is this really milk tea? This tastes great!"

"Misaka-san, you might want to lower your voice a bit, or else people might find out that you don't even know what fine cuisine really tastes like and have them think of you as a brute."

"S-shut up okay?! I'm just saying, this might actually be the best tasting milk tea I've had. I guess this is what 100% organic food really tastes like."

Mikoto continues drinking her tea innocently, not knowing that the tea she was so enjoying had been spiked.

Yes, using her acquired knowledge of alcoholic beverages from that time, Shokuhou Misaki chose the drink used to spike Mikoto's tea with from the restaurant's variety of drinks. This particular brand was sweet and fruity, while at the same time containing an ungodly alcohol percentage. Even when added to any beverage, it was already potent enough to end parties prematurely if taken in large quantities in a short amount of time.

It was the type of drink that wild party-goers would start the night off with in order to start a buzz, even with a small drink of it. Then, they would just proceed to order some cheaper drinks to keep the buzz going all through the night.

It should be clear now that Shoukuhou Misaki's goal was to get Mikoto drunk. Due to Mikoto's innate ability, she had a perpetual EM field that constantly surrounded her, shielding her from Shokuhou Misaki's telepathic attempts.

Shokuhou was betting on the chance that given Mikoto was drunk enough, she might subconsciously drop her guard and allow her to finally peek into her mind.

She was after one specific thing at the moment: the events that took place when Eastern Tokyo had been attacked by a terrorist force, not that long ago before her whole episode with Mitsuari Ayu. A text message had been sent then to all the Level 5's (maybe even not just to them), with the message specifying Kamijou Touma as a target for elimination. And would you know it, earlier that same day, Mikoto had been with him. She even skipped that day's classes altogether.

For various reasons (mostly, she suspects, thanks to the higher-ups of Academy City), she had been unable to glean more light on the incident. She was determined to find out what really took place then. And what better source for information than someone who might have actually been by his side then?

Also, even if telepathic means to get the information from her were to fail, she could just coax what she wanted out of a loose-lipped drunk Mikoto herself.

A tad bit cruel? Yes, it may seem to be. However, Shokuhou was certain that thanks to Mikoto's ability, the fatty acids on the neurons in her brain that would come from the alcohol would break down more quickly than normal. In layman's terms, she doubted Mikoto would stay inebriated for long, or if she would even have anything resembling a hangover.

Mikoto had quickly finished her cup and asked the bartender for another when he came back with her food. The sweet, innocent Mikoto, unknowingly sipping away at her tea, unaware of the schemes rolling around in Shokuhou Misaki's head.

*Hic*

_Heeheehee. Now then, Misaka-san. Let's see what's inside that pretty head of yours, shall we~?_

* * *

"... and can you believe it?! That idiot thought that he could beat me, then just go off to somewhere far and leave me behind again! Me! The friggin' Railgun! So yeah, I gave him a good zap, I busted him up real good, and he was down for the count! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Shokuhou Misaki couldn't help but wince with pain from the headache she was now nursing. The loud shouting of the drunk girl beside her definitely didn't help with that at all. It seemed that even with her being the strongest telepathy-type esper in Academy City, there was still a kind of headache that even she was powerless to do anything about. Who knew? Add to the fact that it just kept worsening by the minute, courtesy of our little drunk Mikoto. Even with her gloved fingers already shoved inside her ears, it still wasn't enough to block out the incessant, loud laughter.

2 hours had passed since Mikoto had downed her first cup of tea. 2 stressed-filled hours that Shokuhou Misaki has been forced to endure.

When she thought that Mikoto was drunk enough, Shokuhou had tried to use her esper powers to try and access her mind, but still to no avail. She had tried to do it every now and then during the first hour, but all her attempts were still being blocked by Mikoto's powers.

What's more, every time that Mikoto suffered from the backlash, she either shouted at Shokuhou for trying to use her powers on her, or bawled her eyes out because Shokuhou wouldn't trust her enough and thus resorted to using her powers. The latter one was immediately followed by a string of suggestions of "bonding activities" that the two could undertake in order to strengthen their bond.

_Uggghh, who knew that a drunk Misaka could be even more stubborn and annoying than a sober one. And what was it that she has been trying to tell me all this time? Could Misaka actually be suffering from chuunibyou[1]? But wait, we're actually 2nd year middle school students, so is this and all her delusions normal for girls our age?!_

Shokuhou then proceeded to bang her head against the counter in an act of utter defiance.

When it was evident that her powers were still useless against Mikoto, Shokuhou had resorted to trying to talk the information out of her.

While Mikoto was all too insistent and glad to finally have someone to listen to her rants, Shokuhou just ended up confused with what she had been told.

_What was that she told me about Ichihanaransai? Something about a lightning god and battle maids? Damn this, she's making even less sense than her usual self._

Mikoto had went on about everything that had happened in the past month:

About his returning home,

The terrorist attack that took place in Hawaii,

The battle over an apparently immortal being during the Ichihanaransai,

The incident earlier in the morning of the day hundreds of heroes clashed, which they both had participated in ("That pervert actually tried to sneak into the School Garden earlier that day! Ahhh! I still haven't punished him for that one!"),

And finally, the incident in Tokyo Bay that led to a wild goose chase all the way to Denmark, where apparently, he finally gave "that idiot" a good beating.

Mikoto's accounting of the events were accurate, albeit being completely biased about how idiotic and reckless "that idiot" was being the whole time. However, Shokuhou Misaki was quick to dismiss Mikoto's stories regarding the various incidents with the people from the magic side of the world. As far as everyone not in the know was concerned, magic was something that was a convenience to a happy ending in fairy tales. She merely thought of Mikoto as being delusional and blamed it on the fact that drunk Mikoto was beyond a normal human's capability of comprehension.

_That sneaky bartender, he should have known better than to keep serving Mikoto tea spiked with the same amount of alcohol as I suggested. Does this mean that as long as they're not underage, he actually encourages girls to get this drunk in his restaurant?_

A good hour or so had passed before Shokuhou Misaki had noticed this. She immediately rescinded the order to the bartender about Mikoto's drinks, but the damage had already been done.

She was actually a bit impressed that Mikoto was still upright after ingesting all that alcohol. But amazement aside, she was ready to deem this scheme as fruitless and pointless to continue further, so she started thinking of an exit strategy.

"Heey Missaki… You've been a reeeaal good lisstener today, you know that? Who knew? I ssshhould pay you back sssomeday for thisss… I wisshh it wasss alwaysss like thiss betweeen uss… You know?"

_She's slurring. Why is she slurring? What the heck is with this close friend vibe that she's suddenly emitting? And did she just call me by my first name?!_

"Ehh, uhm, don't mention it Misaka-san, but I really don't think that the two of us would fit that well with each other. *ahem* Just treat this as a rare occasion to which the queen graced you with her presence, and-"

"AHHH! Ahahaha!" Mikoto interrupted by putting her hand around Shokuhou's shoulder and leaning into her. "I jussst… thought of sssomething funny! Hey heeey… You know what would be funny? *snicker* Ifff… sssay sssomeday, we got together… and you took my lassst name asss your own… Your whole name would be Misssaka Misaki! Hahaha! It ssoundsss ssooo funny! Hahahahaha!"

_Screw exit strategies!_

Shokuhou slammed her hands loudly on the counter and stood up. That was it. The last straw. She couldn't take it anymore. She beckoned impatiently at the bartender to come closer.

"Here's a cash card. Deduct all my expenses from it, and be quick!"

"Understood madam. And what of your friend?"

She looked to the side at her wasted "friend". Mikoto was holding her empty cup on her palm, staring at the intricate designs engraved on it and trying to trace the patterns with a finger while her lips were puckered in concentration.

Shokuhou wanted to just leave her there and let her be. After all, she was the cause of a sudden damaging attack against Shokuhou's psyche just now. But admittedly, it WAS Shokuhou's fault that Mikoto was this wasted in the first place. This train of thought gave her pause.

"...Grrrrrrrr, FINE! Just… put it on the cash card I gave, I'll come back tomorrow to collect whatever's left. You can keep taking her orders, BUT NO MORE ALCOHOL, CAPISCHE? You can just turn her away from here when it's near the time for curfew."

"Curfew? Why is that madam?"

"Errr, it's because… she has to make sure her little sisters are home before then! That's right! So yeah, just do like I asked okay? I'll be back tomorrow."

Maybe it was because she felt a tad bit guilty. Maybe, if she had left Mikoto to herself, she was afraid she wouldn't be able to sleep that night. Maybe, she's just a tiny bit scared of what Mikoto might do to her if Mikoto remembered what happened, and Shokuhou was merely trying to lighten her punishment. Or maybe, deep down inside her, she was actually kind of touched when Mikoto had called her by her first name.

Whatever the reason Shokuhou Misaki had, she couldn't completely abandon Mikoto (to some extent). And there was still more she could do.

Shokuhou picked up Mikoto's bag from the floor. She opened it and ruffled through its insides, not in the least bothered by the invasion of someone else's private property. After a few moments, she found what she was looking for: Mikoto's wallet. She opened the wallet to check its content. However, instead of taking from it, she merely put it into Mikoto's pocket (who by now was downing her nth drink while chewing away at some fish sticks).

Shokuhou had also found Mikoto's coin pouch which contained the token coins she used for her signature move. She decided that it would be a really bad idea to hand over that level of firepower to a drunk Mikoto, so she put it back in the bag.

_There, now she'll have some way of being identified if ever worse comes to worse and she can't make it back in time. Maybe I can have someone from my clique to watch over her for today?_

Shokuhou frowned as she realized what her train of thought had led to. She shook her head, deciding that the idea would be too much of an effort on her part. She picked up her bag, along with Mikoto's, as she got ready to leave. Shokuhou was doubtful that Mikoto had enough presence of mind left to not lose her bag somewhere along the way home. She planned on taking it with her and to just drop it off by the dorms on her way home. She noted to herself to have someone from her clique that resided there to discretely deliver it to Mikoto's room afterwards.

In Shokuhou's mind, what she was doing would be enough penance for her actions. Whatever happened to Mikoto afterwards, she couldn't be held responsible anymore.

"Well then Misaka-san, I'll be going on ahead. It's been quite a… pleasure *cringe*... to dine with you."

"Waaaaah? Youuu're going home alreadyyy? *hic* Come oooon, sssstay with me for a bit, Missssakii…"

Shokuhou couldn't have dashed to the exit faster than she did then. Afraid of suffering another tremendous blow to her psyche, she hightailed it out of there with two bags in hand, leaving behind a drunk Railgun to order another cup of tea.

* * *

The sound of a metal clinking upon the ground resounded along the streets. Under the afternoon sun, a figure with a cane trudged along the sidewalk, accompanied by two other figures: one taller figure which seemed to be wearing an aodai, and another that had a prominent ahoge and sported the height of a grade schooler's.

The first figure, Accelerator, was wearing an all too familiar scowl on his face. He had been sent out by Yomikawa to buy some groceries to restock their pantry. Yomikawa had forced him to take Misaka WORST with him, seeing as how difficult it would be for him to carry more than one bag of groceries while sporting a cane with one hand. Of course, Last Order wouldn't take being left behind sitting down. So, in spite of the numerous protests from everyone, she had managed to tag along with them.

Coincidentally, she was also the one at fault for their current predicament.

"'Misaka is sure now that it's this way!' says Misaka as Misaka points towards an unsure direction."

"Keh! Stop fooling around already. It was funny to get lost for the first fifty minutes, but Misaka is just pissed off right now. Tch, Misaka can't believe that she's missing the afternoon sitcom just because of this stupid errand," complained WORST.

"'Ah! The one with all the stabbing and betrayals?! That's no good! Little sisters should stay away from those kind of shows and watch cartoons about rainbows and unicorns instead,' says Misaka as Misaka remembers the morning cartoon she watched earlier."

"Oi, who are you calling a little sister, huh? Technicalities about our production dates aside, it's perfectly obvious just who's the more mature one here. Sorry, try again after fifteen years or so."

"'Why do you only play the little sister card when it benefits you?! That's unfair!' shouts Misaka as Misaka proceeds to stomp the ground in frustration!"

Meanwhile, Accelerator merely continued to trudge along the sidewalk. For him, it was still along the normal level of day-to-day bickering between the two. Sad to say, he had long gotten used to their noisy tirades. He had also mastered the art of tuning out their pointless arguments, even without the use of his vector powers. All he had in mind at the moment was figuring out where the hell they were and getting home as quick as possible.

Just a few moments later, the trio stopped in their tracks.

It wasn't as if the one leading them had stopped and held the other two back; no, the three of them all stopped simultaneously.

_…What the fuck?_

A few yards away from them, on the same side of the road as they were on was a 2-floor commercial building which consisted of a convenience story on the ground floor and a restaurant above that. To the side of the building (the side facing them) were stairs that led to the restaurant's door, which had suddenly burst open. Stumbling out of the door came Mikoto.

Or drunk Mikoto, to be precise. She leaned on the railing in front of her for a few seconds, then turned and attempted to climb down the stairs. Attempted being the keyword; she only got as far as two steps before she tripped on her own feet, resulting in her rolling down the stairs in an unsightly manner and, with a loud crash, landing face down on the sidewalk.

A passing bird chirped as the three stared at the unmoving figure.

"...What the fuck?" Accelerator voiced out what had run through his mind earlier.

"...Oi, that's the Third, right? Hey Onii-san, is she dead?" WORST whispered to him.

"Who the fuck are you calling Onii-san?"

Suddenly, the prostrated Mikoto stood up, as if she hadn't just rolled down a flight of stairs a few seconds before. With a staggering gait, she started to cross the street (which was miraculously devoid of passing cars at the moment). It looked like she was too preoccupied (or just too incoherent) to notice the trio to the side, whose gazes followed followed her till she went around the corner and was out of their sights.

WORST turned towards Accelerator to complain. "Hey, if the Original is allowed to drink, then why the hell isn't Misaka? In a way, Misaka is already closer to the legal drinking age than she is. Is this some kind of double-standard just because she's a level 5 or something?"

"Because the old hag would blow her casket if she ever caught you drinking and you know that. Besides, it's not as if you care whether you're allowed to or not, you'd still sneak out every night to some place and get hammered if you felt like it. And another thing: I'm pretty sure that the Third Rate isn't allowed to drink at all. Something must have happened between her and that star-eyed bitch."

Ignoring Accelerator's spot-on prediction, Last Order tugged at his sleeves. "'Shouldn't we do something to help Onee-sama?' asks Misaka as Misaka remembers the various scandals that happens to drunk teenage girls in sitcoms and the news."

"Pfffft, the fuck do I care about her? I'm sure she can take care of herself, one way or another. Now come on, if we take any longer, the old hag might get worried and mobilize an entire unit of Anti-skill just to come looking for us."

Accelerator glanced at the direction Mikoto had staggered off to. For some reason, he had a feeling that somehow, by some inconceivable chain of events due to misfortune, HE would end up tangled with the drunk Railgun.

_Good fucking luck hero. I think you're gonna need it._

* * *

**Footnotes!**

**[1]chuunibyou - commonly known as 8th-grade (which roughly translates to 2nd-year middle school) syndrome. It is used to describe someone who believes in the delusions that they overlay upon reality. Think over excessive imagination, fighting darkness and stuff, and actually believing that they're some hero incarnate out to rid the world of evil. Check out the anime (shameless plug!) Chuunibyou Demo Koi ga Shitai for an in-depth understanding of the term, as I feel that I cannot do justice on describing it with my words alone.**

**AN:**

**Holy crap, a whole bunch of someones actually did follow my story. And the reviews! Awesome, you guys are just so awesome. Many thanks to those that reached this space and read through the whole lot of text above (and if by any chance you cheated, shame on you ).**

**I know, I know, sorry that the second chapter took a while to come out. I'm not really one for speed, plus life has just been busy as heck (I'm looking at you, IC interface coding). And, sorry to say, but my pre-made draft only made it as far as half this chapter. Sooooo, the next one might take a while to come out. I can only ask for the patience that To Aru fans have nurtured waiting for Season 3 to wait for my chapter 3 as well.**

**How did you like it so far? Personally, I thought the first chapter was better, since I had a hard time getting into Shokuhou's mind (get it? get it?). Yeaaaah, if she seemed a bit OOC in this segment, I've got no excuses. A whole ton of research went with this chapter, like how exactly did WORST refer to Mikoto, or the fact that the restaurant in NT11 was actually on the 2nd floor (bet you didn't notice that in LNs. did you?). Also, it seemed a bit lacking in dialogue, since I had to explain a bunch of stuff. Or is that just me? Arrrrggh, someone tell me please...T.T**

**And that's what reviews are for. Spotted typos? Have a problem with my prose? Just want to congratulate me on a job well done(pfffft, yeah right)? Feel free to drop a review complaining to me. I see now how writers feel when reading reviews, it's just short of addicting, wahaha.**

**A shout out to 61wisampa for helping a ton with this again (Non-verbatim:"Senpai! I added a bunch of stuff to my story, what do you think?" "You should study first! We have exams for pete's sake!") and for GreatSnapper for pointing out some typos in the last chapter. Sorry for those by the way if the change in tenses bothered some of you, I swear those weren't intentional, honest! I'll try my best to learn from them as to not inconvenience people so much, I'm really sorry! T.T**

**Well, I'm off to research on how to make Othi-chibi more appealing in the next part without being to OOC(did I say spoiler alert? spoiler alert). Hopefully, I can pull it off somehow and get the next chapter up by, say, mid-April. :D To the followers and the new readers, I hope you'll look forward to reading more of my work.**

**And with that, let's meet the next time I write again. Adieu.**

**~Vindex101**


	3. Chapter 3

**Proper apologies are to be found at the bottom. Yes, I'm forcing you to read through the whole thing before getting an apology from me. Or, you know, just scroll down to the bottom of the page and not mind the story at all. Dirty cheater.**

**Disclaimer: The To Aru franchise is not owned by me. If it was, it would have long sunk because of my poor time management and commitment issues.**

* * *

Back to the present

The elevator dinged as it reached the 7th floor of a certain dorm. As the doors opened, out stepped a sweating Kamijou Touma, complete with a bunch of groceries on hand and a snoring Mikoto on his back. Somewhere along the way, Mikoto had fallen asleep, which just prompted the youth to take even more care not to rouse her from her slumber while making his way back home.

The sky had already been dark for some time now. It being a Saturday, one would expect the streets to be filled with people once the sun had set. Miraculously though, Kamijou had avoided bumping into anyone the entire way home. He was thankful for that at least; he had no idea how to explain himself if he was caught and questioned by a passing Anti-skill or Judgement officer. Worst of all, it would have defeated the purpose of trying to keep Mikoto's state of inebriation a secret.

So, rather uneventfully, Kamijou Touma had finally reached the finish line that was his dorm room. He tapped the door lightly with his foot a few times and shouted, "Oi Index, open up, my arms are kinda full and-" _Oh right, I sent Index away to Komoe-sensei's, didn't I?_

He moved to reach for his keys in his pocket when-

"Just wait a bit human, I'll get the door open," Othinus's voice rang out from inside the room.

It had slipped his mind that there was another freeloader that now took residence in his room.

A scuttling sound could be heard from the other side of the door. A minute passed with the noise still going, but the door still remained closed. Kamijou had begun to wonder if he should ask if everything was alright when the door finally swung outwards.

"...Othinus?"

The ex-Magic God was dangling helplessly from the door's handle. Given that she was only fifteen centimeters tall, her feet were well off the ground. How the hell had she even managed to reach that high?

Othinus greeted him with a straight face, "Welcome back."

"..."

"..."

They stared at each other for a good five seconds. Showing an enormous amount of self-control, Kamijou refrained from saying anything as he put the bags of groceries to the side and held an empty hand just below Othinus's feet. Othinus let go of the door knob and landed on his palm. He promptly lowered her closer to the ground; low enough to allow Othinus to jump off.

"... Can I just say something?" Kamijou nervously asked once they were inside.

"Why? Nothing happened that's worth talking about. There's no point in you asking for permission."

"B-but what that just now? How were you able to reach the door knob like that? Is it the same as with insects that even though they're smaller, their disproportionate strength more than makes up for it? Like how fleas can jump a thousand times their height and still land safely, or how ants can carry a hundred times their own weight that can easily crush them to death?"

"... Of all things to compare me to, those are the ones that you choose? An ant and a flea? Insects? It's because of how small I am now, isn't it? Do you really want to be beaten up that badly?"

Othinus was exuding a murderous aura, one thick enough that Kamijou couldn't help but take a step back. He could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

"Ah, er, sorry. I-I just said the first things that came to mind, really, hehehe." Kamijou tried to pacify Othinus's anger. "...But it sure would be convenient for staving off Sphinx from your food, huh?"

This comment earned him a punch to the shin. While normally one would kick instead of punching it, such was the physical limitations imposed upon Othinus by her own body. Nonetheless, even with her diminutive state, the damage delivered was pretty much the same, if not more.

"YYOOOOOOOWWWWW! Would you not attack me while I'm carrying someone on my back?! And do you have any idea how dangerous the situation would be if we were to fall over and Misaka bumped her head and woke up?!"

"Then stop saying stupid things all the time. Just so you know, I believe that corporal punishment is the best way to teach someone that they're wrong. So don't expect me to hold back if you keep saying idiotic things like that."

"Why so much contempt?! Don't tell me that you're actually mad about me foiling your plans back in Sargosso and that you plan to take that rage out on me now that I've somehow lowered my guard around you?! That you're actually just waiting for me to be asleep, then you would— GAAAAAAHHH! FUKOU DAAAAAAAAA!"

It was amazing that Mikoto still managed to sleep through all that shouting and jumping about.

After they had both calmed down a bit, Kamijou carried Mikoto to his bed and laid her down gently. As he looked down at her still-sleeping figure, he couldn't help but notice the minute details about Mikoto: her light snoring, the way her sweat-matted locks clung to her face which was still slightly flushed, the way her chest rose and fell with each breath. Kamijou couldn't help but gulp at what he was seeing.

_W-what's this? What is it with this sudden development? Just because she's all serene-like and not trying to zap me, it's like I've suddenly stumbled upon a different version of Biri-biri! Or is it simply that I'm suddenly seeing her in a new light now that she's all peaceful like this? Arrrgh! Could this be what that bastard Aogami calls a gap moe?!_

Kamijou proceeded to slap himself in order to stop the impure thoughts that threatened to sprout from within his teenage mind. This earned him an odd look from Othinus who was standing by the side of the bed.

Having cleared away the Aogami-like train of thought that almost began, he also noticed that Mikoto's clothes were damp with sweat too, especially in the front. It seemed that she got most of it from his own sweaty shirt while he was carrying her.

_Not good. If she were to sleep like this, she's sure to catch a cold by morning. I better do something about it._

"Othinus, come here and help me get Misaka out of her clothes."

"..."

"...Eh? O-Othinus-san? W-why are you glaring at me like that?"

"So that walking library of a nun wasn't exaggerating when she told me all about your tendencies. You really are a perverted pig that takes advantage of any situation, aren't you? And to think that I was defeated by the likes of you. Tch, you and your kind make me sick, and that's something coming from an ex-Magic God like me."

"W-what are talking about Othinus-san? I-I think there's some sort of misunderstanding going on here. I just wanted to— W-WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PULL OUT THAT KNIFE FROM?! ARE YOU SOME SORT OF CROSS-DIMENSIONAL CYBORG CAT OR SOMETHING?! WHAT DO YOU PLAN ON DOING WITH THAT?! SERIOUSLY, PUT THAT THING AWAY, I'M STARTING TO GET CONCERNED FOR MY WELL-BEING OVER HERE!"

"For all the crimes I've committed, I suppose it is only right that I do something for the world in repayment. By ridding this world of even one lecherous pervert, I believe that I can help make it a slightly better place. It can even be considered a partial atonement for my sins. Do not worry, I will take care of your Imagine Breaker once you have departed from this world. Brace yourself."

"Don't be so quick to write me off as useless and beyond saving! At least try to reform me before giving up and going straight for the kill, damn it! This is just a misunderstanding! I just wanted to get her out of her wet clothes so she wouldn't catch a cold, honest! So please put that knife away before you gouge my eyes out with it!"

Othinus considered his words for a bit before putting the knife away, while Kamijou remained cowering in the far corner.

"Honestly, do you never think about your words before you open your mouth? Now I see why that nun is so fond of biting your head. It's a wonder that you managed to survive this long without getting killed by someone you somehow pissed off."

Kamijou absently scratched his head as he got up from the floor. "W-well, I can't help it if I seem like this at times. Hehehe, so, uhm, with that cleared up, would you help me with Misaka's—" His words were stopped cold by another one of Othinus's glares.

"You really are a hopeless idiot, aren't you? Can't you imagine how inappropriate this situation is? A pure (_Did Othinus just call Biri-biri pure?)_, sleeping girl about to be undressed by a hormonal teenage boy in his bedroom. Whoever you ask, surely they'll say either of two things of the boy: that he's a horny bastard, or an idiot beyond saving, with the latter choice clearly referring to you."

"..."

"Stop staring at me like that. Like I said, if I don't say things bluntly you will never learn, being the idiot that you are. Now go and change clothes in the bathroom; lest you may not have noticed since you were busy worrying over that girl over there, you yourself are clearly in need of a change of clothes. I'll handle changing her clothes. Just because I'm this small now doesn't mean that I can't do such a simple task as this."

Othinus shot him a dark gaze and added, "And if you even consider taking a peek, you'll get what's coming to you. Is that clear?"

"...Okay."

Having received a severe reprimanding from the fifteen centimeter tall being, the poor, abused Kamijou could only hang his head low in surrender as he got his pajamas and proceeded to the bathroom.

During a previous incident concerning a scantily-dressed imp and a loli head of a magic cabal, the bathroom's wall had been carved out, resulting in his bathroom's entrance being reduced to a gaping hole in the wall. Of course, he had received a scolding for destruction of property from his dorm manager while he was still confined to the hospital.

Amazingly enough, he had returned yesterday to find that the hole leading to his bathroom had been fixed. Kamijou had no idea where the fees for the repairs had come from, but he was thankful for whoever it was that covered the expenses. Now, he no longer had to worry about Index infiltrating his bathtub-bed in the dead of night.

After he locked the door behind him he let out an exasperated sigh.

_Why does this keep happening to me? And here I thought that having Othinus here would make handling Index easier. Now, even with Index away I still have to put up with someone troublesome. The level of abuse I suffer has only risen! Nothing has changed for the better! If this trend goes on, the next freeloader that I'm forced to take in may very well be the death of me!_

Of course, these thoughts were merely Kamijou lamenting his own misfortune. He continued to wallow in self-pity as he began to put on his pajamas.

* * *

After receiving an all-clear signal from Othinus, Kamijou exited the bathroom newly clothed. Mikoto was still lying down on the bed, but now she was wearing a pair of Index's pajama bottoms along with one of his shirts. Her Tokiwadai uniform was now laid to the side folded neatly.

It crossed Kamijou's mind to ask Othinus how she had managed to do all that alone in the short amount of time he was changing, but thought the better of it, lest she get angry again and punch him or worse.

As he came closer, he could hear that Othinus was mumbling something to herself.

"(Well at least I was somehow bigger than she is where it counts. Even though it's in the past now, I can still take pride in that fact. Hehehehe.)"

"Did you say something Othinus? And why is there a smug look on your face?

"Never mind that. Now," Othinus turned to face him as she expertly changed the subject, "are you going to tell me why you took this unconscious girl back to your dorm room or should I go call the police first?"

"Why are you assuming that my intentions were bad to begin with?!"

Kamijou launched into an explanation on how he found a drunk Mikoto in the park, and the circumstances why he couldn't just leave her by herself in that state. (He emphasized that he had nothing to do with how she had wound up drunk in the park in the first place.) All throughout his storytelling, Othinus just sat on the bed and listened.

"—So this is the 3rd level 5 of Academy City? The Railgun, was it? Isn't she the one that beat you back in Denmark?"

"Er, actually, she just caught me off-guard then. And it wasn't as if we were really fighting like that back then. I just wanted to have her give up and let us pass through."

"That still doesn't change the fact that she beat you. What, are you so petty that you can't accept the fact that you were beaten by a girl?"

"Please stop putting words in my mouth, I said nothing of the sort!"

"I still don't get why you can't just hand her over to the authorities— what do you call them? Anti-skill? Why not let them handle the situation?"

"Well, Misaka is actually the poster girl for the power curriculum program in Academy City. If word were to get out that their poster girl got drunk while still a minor, it would be a pretty big controversy. It just might be enough to turn away some people from enrolling in the program. Misaka would get in a lot of trouble with the officials of the city if anything like that happened."

Othinus nodded at this. Then, as if realizing something, Othinus stood up abruptly on the bed.

"Wait, so you mean to say you carried her all the way from the park to here on your back, and you didn't bump into anybody?"

Kamijou was surprised at Othinus's sudden outburst. He scratched the back of his head while wearing a stupid grin on his face.

"W-well yeah, I think. It went smoothly all the way to here, I didn't even have to hide behind corners or anything like that. I guess I was just lucky? Hehehe-"

He stopped mid-laugh, frozen, with his mouth still open.

_Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait. Me? Lucky? Isn't there something wrong with this picture?_

He realized just how absurd his words had been.

Othinus seemed to realize this as well. She was shaking her head, as if from pity.

"Could it be that you just used up what meager luck you have left for the next month or two just to pull that off? If that's the case, then expect that things will now almost always take a turn for the worse whenever you're involved."

She let that sink in for a while before adding, "If I were you, I'd start sincerely praying for my life."

"They could have at least had me bump into someone I could somehow explain the situation to! That way, the blow to my stocked up luck wouldn't have been so drastic! Does this mean that I have to lock myself in my room until the new year rolls in? At this rate, nobody would find it surprising at all if a meteor somehow appears and flattens me and only me! Gaaahhh! At least give me back some of my luck, damn iiiiiiit!"

After emitting a guttural scream of despair, Kamijou flopped down on the floor, unmoving. Othinus alighted from the bed and approached him. When she was right next to his head, she began pulling and twisting his ear.

"Human, did you die from shock or something? If so, then come back to life and look at the time, it's already late and you still haven't cooked dinner for us and your guest."

"..."

"Stop moping about already. As if you aren't already used to being unlucky all the time. And besides, everything I said was mere speculation. We have no way to tell if that's really the case, so just suck it up and go about like normal as if nothing had happened. Isn't that what you're good at doing anyway?"

Othinus had a point. Kamijou begrudgingly got up from the floor and patted the dust off of himself.

"You know, ever since you moved in here with us, my every waking moment have become completely filled with verbal retorts and physical harassment."

"You're just imagining things because your stomach is empty. Now go and fix something up for us to eat already."

Having just come back from grocery shopping, Kamijou's choice of what food he could possibly prepare was vast. And since a particular nagging nun that would always pester him to cook faster was absent for the night, he could actually take advantage of the moment and cook something he had been meaning to try for a while now. He confirmed that he had all the ingredients he needed and proceeded to work on the dish. Shortly after, the sound of chopping and sizzling filled Kamijou's room.

With all the misfortune that constantly surrounded him, it was easy to forget that Kamijou had spent the last half of the year or so taking care of Index, a feat that no one who knew of her monstrous appetite would dare say be easy. Even if Index wasn't really picky with what she eats, the culminated experience that Kamijou earned from repeatedly fixing up food for her was not something one could just dismiss. Add to the fact that he lived next door to someone closely related to a high-end maid-in-training, and that he was constantly exposed to different culture's cuisines, it would suffice to say that his cooking skill was already beyond the average person's.

After just a few minutes, an aromatic smell wafted from the kitchen area to where Othinus and Mikoto were. Othinus sniffed the air and was intrigued at how good it smelled. Even Mikoto started stirring in her sleep. Othinus padded over to the kitchen where Kamijou was stirring a pot while lowering the heat of the stove. She tugged at his pants bottom and gestured to be brought up to the kitchen counter.

After Kamijou put her down on the counter, he scooped up a spoonful of what was cooking and put it onto a tasting dish. He angled the dish in his hand towards Othinus.

"Here, taste this Othinus. Ah- hey, don't forget to blow on it first, it's piping hot… So? Do you think it needs more salt?"

"... Wow. This is actually quite good. What is it?"

"It's just miso soup. I added in a bit of dried scallops, along with a little chili to spice it up a bit. A friend from the Amakusa church one cooked it for me and Index, she was kind enough to leave behind some tips if I ever wanted to try cooking it myself. I never got around to trying it until now."

"I'm impressed, human. I honestly never would have thought that you had this kind of skill."

"Hehe. Just because this Kamijou Touma's life is full of misfortune, doesn't mean that I spend all my free time dodging knives, bullets, esper abilities and magic spells. Of course I would have one or two hidden skills that are just waiting to debut to the world! Impressed?"

"Not really. That Ollerus disguised as Thor is still a better cook in my opinion, and that's saying something given how that guy chooses to spend his free time. But I guess that's to be expected since he's always with that Saint maid girl."

"Haha, ha, ha… I can't believe that I'd lose to someone who looks so laid-back all the time. I just can't win, can I?" Kamijou exclaimed with a sigh. He grabbed a frying pan from the drawer and put it over the stove. After lighting the fire, he proceeded to prepare the ingredients for the next dish as he let the soup simmer for a bit more.

_Speaking of which, I wonder how Itsuwa is doing? I haven't seen her at all since I came back from that World War 3 fiasco. I hope she's doing okay…_

* * *

"A-chu!"

At the sound of a cute sneeze, Tatemiya Saiji put down the plate he was currently washing to look over to the right and at his partner, Itsuwa. It was just after lunch time in England, and the two were cleaning the dishes together after eating lunch with the rest of the Amakusa Christians.

Itsuwa had put down the towel she was using for drying off the plates that Tatemiya handed over to her, and instead had a handkerchief over her mouth.

"Oi, Itsuwa, are you alright? Did you catch a cold or something?"

The Amakusa-style Church incorporated magic into their everyday routines and gestures. As such, catching a disease, even one as measly as a cold, was treated very seriously by their sect. Tatemiya was genuinely worried for Itsuwa, but Itsuwa denied his inquiry while waving her hands at him.

"I-I'm okay Chief Pontiff-sama, really! It's nothing to be worried about," she dismissed his concern with a smile on her face.

"Hmmm, well okay then, if you say so." Tatemiya shrugged and went back to washing the dishes.

He couldn't be sure if it was just him, but for some reason, Itsuwa seemed oddly happy and perky for the rest of the day.

* * *

After having cooked a multitude of dishes due to getting a bit carried away by the absence of a meddling sister, Kamijou tried to wake Mikoto up to get her to eat something.

When finally up, it seemed that Mikoto was in some kind of post-drunken stupor or something. They had somehow gotten her to sit on the floor facing the table, but that was it. No matter how much Othinus or Kamijou talked to her or waved their hands in front of her, she merely continued to stare blankly at the wall while swaying slowly in place. It also meant that the dreaded (one-sided) confrontation would be left for tomorrow.

He didn't know whether to be thankful or not for Mikoto's state of stupor.

However, once the food had been laid on the table, she had immediately begun devouring the food in front of her. Kamijou was particularly quick to react to this and grabbed some of the food away from her. He set what little he could get his hands on on the floor. At least he and Othinus had something left for them to eat.

"O-oi, Misaka, take it easy with the food, will you? Ahh, you might choke if you try to eat that piece whole, you need to— uhmm, ah, nevermind."

"Oh dear, it seems like that nun has a budding protege in this esper that she doesn't know about."

"Please refrain from saying such ominous things so casually Othi-chan. I fear that if it comes out of your mouth, the probability of it actually happening might skyrocket. And I just know that somehow, I'll get cajoled into being responsible for the repercussions. What then would become of this poor Kamijou?"

It seemed as though this particular dorm room was cursed to always have one resident with a black hole for a stomach. Kamijou resigned himself to such a fate and silently resumed eating from the plates set on the floor, all the while watching Mikoto devour the food on the table.

"Still though, I never would have thought that Misaka was one to eat like this. It definitely clashes with her ojou-sama character background— err, come to think of it, I guess this just adds another nail to that coffin"

Othinus set down the bottle cap she had been using as a bowl and turned to answer him.

"It's more probable that her body subconsciously craves to be filled to counteract the alcohol in her system. Consuming alcohol results in a loss of nutrients that it needs, to an extent. You mentioned that she was tossing her guts earlier, right? That may be why she won't respond to any of our actions; her body wants to replenish what it lost. She must just be running on her body's cravings alone. Just let her eat as she pleases for the moment. And don't forget to leave a bottle of water for her to drink after; her body needs to stay hydrated as much as possible. Alcohol is a strong diuretic, she'd become severely dehydrated and suffer from a massive hangover the next morning due to the lack of fluids. It's best to try to keep as much water in her as possible for the time being."

Without breaking stride or pausing, Othinus held out the bottle cap towards Kamijou. "More rice please."

Kamijou's face bore an incredulous look as he stared at Othinus. It was the kind of face one would be expected to make after hearing a friend oh-so casually disprove string theory or if they suddenly listed off over a hundred fetishes that they were into; one of these which actually happened to him before.

_W-wow. Thor was right, she really does like to explain things doesn't she?_

Othinus was not amused with the face he was making. "What? Why are you making such a stupid face human?"

"Eh, no, I just, err… I never expected such scientific… er, terms, coming from a magician, least of all from you."

"You insult me human. Of course I should know at least this much. Don't forget that the first process I planned to use to summon Gungnir utilized both science and magic. I'm not completely ignorant of science, so it stands to reason that I am somehow knowledgeable to a certain degree. And besides, this is basic stuff for teenagers to know, and I'm still technically a teen. What, don't tell me you don't have any experience with alcohol before?"

"Just that one time, and I was kind of forced-fed it even then. Does that count?"

Othinus couldn't help but sigh at this. "Just give me some rice already."

After a few minutes of ravenous eating passed, Mikoto grabbed the bottle of water Kamijou had set down beside her. She drained it all in one go, and right after emptying it, slowly closed her eyes and dropped facedown on the table with a dull thud.

"Zzzzzzz… Thankzzz for the… Zzzz…"

It seemed that Mikoto wouldn't be getting up again for tonight. With the frenzy finally over, Kamijou let out a sigh of relief. Despite the eagerness that frenzied-Mikoto had shown, she still wasn't able to completely clear the table of food. He was relieved that Mikoto's stomach capacity was still leagues away from Index's.

"Knowing one black hole incarnate is enough for one life. Thank goodness at least that Misaka isn't like Index. Speaking of which, I should put some of these in the fridge for when Index comes back."

"Pass me some of that miso soup first human."

"You're still not done eating?"

"You do realize that I am making do with a bottle cap and toothpicks as makeshift eating utensils. These aren't exactly made for eating, just in case you didn't know."

"Okay, okay, here you go. Jeez, even after eating you're still cranky."

"Hm? Were you muttering something human?"

"N-nothing, nothing!", Kamijou sighed. "Fukou da."

"I thought so. Also, some more of that fried chicken please."

Rather than watch Othinus try to eat fried chicken that was the size of her face**[1]**, Kamijou opted to clear the table instead. He stored what food was left in the fridge and put away the dirty dishes in the sink to be washed.

The unfortunate boy's dorm room fell into an uncharacteristic atmosphere of peace. The only sounds to be heard were from the running water from the tap, the clanking of plates, the sound of Othinus eating, and a faint snoring from Mikoto, who was still sleeping facedown on the table.

_Ahh, it's times like this that should be treasured. Normal folks who argue that living like this is bland and boring don't know how good they've got it._

After washing and putting away the utensils (Othinus's included) and re-applying the bandages to his arm, he tried to rouse Mikoto once more to get her off the table. Alas, Mikoto was unresponsive again, so he was forced to hoist her back onto the bed. It struck him again how such a powerful (and scary) girl like Mikoto could seem so dainty and light. Of course, he was aware that voicing these concerns out loud if she was awake would just contribute to more injuries in his part.

"You're pretty touchy-feely with your girls, aren't you?" quipped Othinus from the side of the bed.

"Says the freeloader who just looks on and doesn't help. And what do you mean by 'my girls'?"

Kamijou tucked Mikoto (who was mumbling something about Gekota, spiky hairs and idiots) into bed, making sure that the blanket completely covered her body. He wouldn't want her to catch a cold from the lately freezing nights in Academy City. Once satisfied that she would comfortable, he moved to the foot of the bed and proceeded to gather Mikoto's clothes in his arms.

"Oi oi oi, wait a moment there."

"Hm?"

Othinus bounded over to him and pointed an accusatory finger at the seemingly confused Kamijou.

"What do you think you're gonna do with those, huh?"

"What, with Misaka's clothes?"

"What else would I be talking about? Are you the kind of pervert that goes to sleep while burying his face into used women's underwear? Have you been doing it all this time in private with that nun's clothes? You make me sick."

"Why is it already an established fact that I'm a pervert?! Can you at least let me defend myself before labelling me as something like Aogami's apprentice?!"

With a sigh, Kamijou opened the balcony door and proceeded outside. Othinus followed right behind him.

"Look, it wouldn't do to let her go home tomorrow still wearing our clothes, right? I figured that I would just hang them up here to dry out at least. That way, she'd have something decent to wear."

_Plus, I won't have to endure a returning-of-washed-clothes-after-she-borrowed-it-when-she-spent-the-night-over event after all this is over,_ Kamijou thought. He grabbed a bunch of spare hangers and started hanging Mikoto's jacket on the suspended wire.

"Okay, I'll admit that you do have a fair point. But that doesn't change the fact that you're ever-so-willing to man-handle a maiden's clothes."

"Please, who do you think has been washing Index's clothes all this time? They're just clothes." Kamijou bragged with a smug look on his face. "Don't mock the experiences that I've accumulated these past few months. I'm not just some boy who would act all perverted just because I've come to possess a woman's worn clothing."

"Hoooh? So what you're saying is you've pretty much seen and experienced things that are significantly worse, to the point that you are no longer fazed by merely seeing or touching a lady's underwear?"

"..."

"Your silence and sweat speaks volumes."

"A-anyway, the point is that it's no big deal for me now, so there's nothing wrong with me doing this! Nope, this doesn't do anything for me at all anymore! This is totally okay!"

"That's not something that you should be bragging about, human, especially while holding someone's underwear high up. Now even I can't help but feel a bit sorry for you."

Kamijou finished hanging up Mikoto's clothes to dry, spraying them with a bit of fabric softener as an afterthought. Having nothing left to do, he began getting ready for bed.

"Hey human, where am I supposed to sleep like this?"

"Huh? Haven't you always slept on the bed with Index? What's the matter with sleeping like usual?"

"That's just because that nun always manages to grab me right before she lies down to sleep. And when she finally does sleep, I'm left being smothered by her nonexistent chest until the next day. It's not like I have a choice in the matter. At least it somehow staves off that monster of a cat from playing with me in the dead of the night."

Kamijou refrained from pointing out the low blow in Othinus's words, and the fact that there wouldn't be much of a difference between Index and Mikoto's "circumstance". Truly, the blessed ones look down on the less fortunate; this belief was further strengthened in his mind, and he promised to himself that he would never turn into someone who would think like that.

"Well, what would you suggest? If you want, I can lay out the extra futon for you, but wouldn't it be suffocating to sleep in something that big?" _Not to mention how much it adds insult to injury regarding her new size._

"Admittedly, that WOULD look rather silly. Well… I guess I can settle on sleeping inside a drawer. Just make sure you add enough bedding to it; if I wake up tomorrow with a sore back, expect to wake up blind in one eye."

"Okay okay, there's no need to push your Nordic roots symbolism onto me you know. Wait, then what will you do if the drawer accidentally closes on its own? Won't you be trapped inside?"

The idea seems to have not occurred to Othinus. She mulled the possibility of it in her head for a moment, then glared at Kamijou.

"Leave it to you to come up with such an idea. I wouldn't be surprised if you waited for me to be fast asleep, then proceeded to lock the drawer yourself, leaving me none the wiser. Truly despicable."

"That's why I pointed it out in the first place! And what's up with your impression of me?! Did I do something to make you paint me as such a bad guy?!"

Kamijou pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to drive off the sudden headache he was feeling. Doing too many retorts back-to-back has taken its toll on him. As if he wasn't tired enough already to begin with. He had to resolve this soon and finally get some rest.

"Look, if it bothers you that much then you can just sleep on the bed with Misaka. Just lie down further up the pillow so she won't accidentally crush you in her sleep."

"Then what will we do when she wakes up and sees a diminutive ex-fugitive sleeping beside her?"

"I'll leave that up to tomorrow's Kamijou and tomorrow's Othinus. I honestly can't be bothered right now, I just reeeeeeally want to get some sleep." Kamijou grabbed his pillows and blanket and started for the bathroom.

"Hey hey hey. Now hold on human." Othinus jumped down from the bed and approached Kamijou. "Who knows what this gal would do when she suddenly wakes up somewhere unfamiliar? I can imagine that you wouldn't want her to throw a fit, least of all inside your room."

Kamijou dismissed her concerns with a wave of his hand. "Don't worry about that. She's seen my room once already, and who knows, maybe she'll wake up and remember everything that happened tonight. At least she'd know that you're not hostile. But whatever happens, like I said, I trust future Kamijou and Othinus to come up with something to deal with it."

"...I can't believe that you would suddenly turn into someone so useless when dealing with equally useless things like this. I thought you were the kind of person to face everything head-on, no matter how minor they might seem. Talk about disillusionment."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Good niiight."

"Hey, wai–"

Kamijou shut the door behind him, cutting off Othinus's retort mid-word. He let out another yawn as he reflexively locked the bathroom door and started towards the bathtub. He stopped mid-turn when a thought suddenly appeared in his head. Kamijou deliberated over it for a moment. He weighed the pros and cons, what it would entail, and if something were to go wrong, whether he would still have his head attached to his body after everything was over. With a reluctant nod, he undid the lock, silently at that in order not to clue in Othinus on what he was thinking.

_I sure hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the butt tomorrow._

With the deed done, he proceeded inside the shower room and locked the sliding door closed. Hopefully, it would be enough this time to keep his sleeping self safe from intruders. Just remembering the past incident with Lessar and Birdway was enough to give him goosebumps. Dispelling his shudder, Kamijou carefully climbed into his so-called bed and laid down.

_Despite being the one to tell Othinus to not worry about Misaka, I guess I still can't help but worry about it myself. Hopefully, I'll wake up first from the noise before Misaka decides to kill us or burn the dorm down. Or both._

Just before closing his eyes, he couldn't help but slip out one last act of defiance against his predicament, however useless it might be.

"Fukou da."

* * *

**[1] Fried chicken, or kara-age as they're known in Japan, are mostly chicken meat filleted and shaped into spheres before being fried. They're served in bite-sized pieces instead of whole parts like what most are accustomed to.**

**AN and apology:**

**Soooooo, heyyy. Long time no see guys. I know I know, I said maybe April or May of 2015, and tadaaa, it's almost 2017 already. -.- Life just became too much of a hassle. Got stuffed everyday with deadlines, and on the off-days I get distracted by my ever-so-growing backlog of games, LNs and animes. Before I knew it, it was already June of 2016. Oh how time flies, hahaha, haha, ha... *sigh***

**Truth be told, this piece was already finished a reaaaally long time ago. I just wanted to finish the 4th chapter before publishing this one. Big mistake, still haven't finished tying up all the scattered parts of the story I've already written. May the fanfic gods bestow upon me the drive to continue writing this glorious piece, so that I can finally, FINALLY, read NT13.**

**Yeah, I've managed to hold off reading past NT12 for almost TWO YEARS, since I didn't want to spoil my mindset on Mikoto's character. Consider it a penance on my part for not having finished this early enough. Really though, I'm super super sorry that this took forever to update. Hopefully, I can squeeze in some time here and there to finish up on the last chapter. Then, it would be up to my unofficial "editors" (*ehem* Wisampa-senpai *ehem*) to criticize and scold me to the ground for disappearing for so long. Uggh, I'm reeaally not looking forward to that.**

**Now to the story. Sorry if Othi-chibi is a bit OOC here. As I said, I haven't read anything past NT12 yet, so any inconsistencies in Othinus's character is purely Kamachi's fault (I kid, he's basically one of the writing gods. Don't curse me please.). So I ask for a little leeway on that, and for the next chapter as well.**

**This chapter was reaaaally dialogue-heavy, seeing that the scene consists of two characters and a technically incapacitated one stuck in a small room with nothing much to do, there really was not much to be done. I'm just hoping that most of you found the dialogues tasteful, if not bearable at least.**

**Acknowledgements! Thanks to 61wisampa for the monthly reminders that I still have a fanfic to finish, also for a bunch of editting and criticism for this chapter, as well as GreatSnapper as well. Still not so sure that I found all the typos and the errors, so I hope that you guys can bear with it.**

**Or, you know, say it to me to the face. Reviews are always welcome, especially the critical ones. I also like the funny ones that tend to downplay how horrible a writer I am, and how I'm so into self-depreciation and meta jokes. Still, ****if you have anything to say about the story, be it good or bad, feel free to write a review.**

**And so, here we go again with the waiting game. Expect at least a month or two, maybe a year (hoepfully not) before you hear from me again. Or maybe I drop another random fanfic for another series, I dunno, inspiration be my guide. I really hope you guys manage to stick with me till the end, especially since it's the last chapter.**

**And with that awefully prepared apology, let's meet the next time I write again.**

**Seriously, at this point all I'm praying for is I haven't ruined the series or the characters for any of you guys.**

**Adieu**

**~Vindex101**


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